Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Monday, May 31, 2010

busy, busy, busy

Alternate title - showers and sewing

Whew....what a past 2 months it has been! I'll just hit the high points here, because we have been busy!
- our roof is fixed, and there have been no wasps!!!!!
- hosted a baby shower for Sarah with my sweet life group girls - it was cute and a good time
- sewed, sewed, sewed...
- hosted a baby shower for my sweet friend Lanie Beth with another great group of girls - it was BEAUTIFUL, and such a wonderful time
- sewed, sewed, sewed
- hosted a couples wedding shower with Christina and Rachel for Katie and Nick - we did an entertainment theme, so we played Battle of the Sexes (the boys won) and the Newlywed game (Glenn and I won!), and everyone brought Katie and Nick things for game night, or date night, or parties they would host, etc. It was a blast!
- sewed, sewed, sewed
- attended a baby shower for my dear friend Allison Barton in Macon - it was so great to see her and Noah (or at least her cute Noah belly), and to see Lisa and Shane, and other people I hadn't seen in too long
- attended a lingerie shower for Katie - so.much.fun!
- attended Nick and Katie's wedding - it was GORGEOUS, and I had a blast cuttin' a rug out on the dance floor with all my Momentum peeps - Momentum really represented on the dance floor that night
- we are now giving Brooklyn injections twice a week with a trial medication to see if it keeps her allergies at bay....yes, she's the first animal to do this trial in our vet's office...ever - oh we love our little HM dog!
- went to NC to see my family for an early mother's day, Evan's 2nd birthday party, and for Caleb's prom - that's right...my baby brother went to prom! yeesh, I'm old! He was so handsome, and Landis (his girlfriend) looked beautiful, in their matching Carolina blue! It was a great time with my mom, Mark, and Caleb, but as usual too short!
- my best friend (of 17 years) Jamie, her husband Eric, and girls, Bella and Lauren (Tot) came for the weekend - it was so much fun! Jamie and I can always just pick up where we left off, our husbands love to discuss and debate theology, and her girls are so precious, and such a hoot! We went to Noah's Ark, ate lots of goldfish and strawberries, went to church, and had a great time visiting ....I can't wait until they come back!
- got to visit Brad, Lanie Beth, and precious Rowan in the hospital - Rowan is perfect, and just lovely (as we all knew she would be!), we just love her to pieces!
- went to Birmingham to visit Glenn's Papa, and his mom and sister came up too. It was fun just hanging out with family, and we did a little shopping, a LOT of eating, and we got to meet all of Papa and Rose's friends in their senior's sunday school class....that was a hoot!
- last day of school was Friday!!! YAY!!! I only have to go back Tuesday and Wednesday and then I'm officially done for 2 months of glorious summer vacation!

Here is what we have coming up:
- today we are going to get our free Chick-fil-a spicy chicken sandwiches (check out their website to see how to get yours free), going to Ikea, and then taking dinner to Brad and Lanie Beth
- tomorrow is my BIRTHDAY! (the last year of my 20s....I should have a bucket list or something!)
- my dad and Glenn's parents are coming to help us replace the wall in our living room where the water was leaking in - that's going to be an undertaking
- my parents are coming to town to go to the Braves/Tigers series - Mark and Caleb are big Detroit Tigers fans, so that will be fun.
- we are going to Pensacola for our annual 4th of July celebration with Glenn's family
- Glenn is taking one class this summer
- I am going to attempt to get my sewing room as close to complete as money will allow this summer
- I had to move classrooms again, so I will be working on getting the new one set up this summer as well - hopefully this will be my last move for a while!

wow...are you tired yet?! I am exhausted just seeing it all typed out....
So, that's why I've been a bit MIA lately....hopefully things will calm down a little bit so we can get some rest! :)

Friday, March 26, 2010

some thoughts and emotions

Last May Glenn and I started trying to have a baby. We were very excited and thought it would happen right away. I expected that I would be very close to meeting our little bundle right now. But it didn't happen. By about September be realized that with Glenn back in school we wouldn't be able to afford a baby. This was probably the most difficult realization for me because I have wanted nothing more than to be a mother. So, we stopped trying....and a few weeks later I suddenly had 10 friends who came up pregnant. Now, please don't misunderstand me! I am THRILLED for my friends, and I know they will make amazing mothers, and I truly believe that each of those babies is very blessed to have each of those sweet women as mothers. But I couldn't help thinking, it should have been me. I struggled for longer than I would like to admit, and still do sometimes, with self-pity and let's be honest, jealousy. With God's help I am getting over it, and had really gotten over it, until last week.

Last week Glenn came home and told me about this dual degree program that Ga Tech and Clayton State are doing that would enable him to get a Electrical Engineering degree at Tech and a Computer Science degree at Clayton State. This would enable to him to get a better job, and make a bit more money. All things that are great. However, it would also mean he would have to go to school for another year. This means that he won't be done for 4 more years. 4 more years! We will be 33 and 34 when he graduates. This also means (because I've been thinking a bit selfishly lately) that I won't be able to have a baby until I'm 33 (at least - if I can even get pregnant, but I can't go there yet or I'll completely lose it!). 33 for baby number 1. We want two kids....so I'll be even older when we have baby number 2. I have to be honest and say that I was a lot panicked at the thought of being almost 70 when my kids are only in their mid-30s. So, after being upset and talking through this with Glenn like an adult instead of a spoiled child. I first thanked him for working so hard for us, to give us a better life in a couple of years. And then we talked about the fact that when he graduates I would most likely be able to be a stay at home mom, which is what I have always wanted.

So comes the thought...will it be worth it to wait until I'm in my mid-30s to have a baby if I get to be a stay at home mom and really enjoy being a mom vs. having a baby now, and having to work extra jobs just to pay for daycare and never get to see said baby? I think yes. It's not easy to say that because what I really want is to be a mom now and for it to just work out so that I can stay home. But I realize that's not reality. And that's obviously not God's plan for us...it's just my plan. I'm still not 100% thrilled with this situation that I'm in, and i have a feeling I will have more a a few breakdowns over the next 4 years as it continues to feel like I am the only one without a baby. I just have to keep telling myself that it will be worth the wait, and that it will all work out, and keep praying that God will get me through this, because I really can't do it myself...I won't make it through these next 4 years without him.

Again, let me be clear that I AM very happy for all of my soon to be or new mommy friends! Please do not take offense to this...this is just me being honest.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

the big day

Well, today was the big day...the day of my 5K. I have been look forward to/training for/having anxiety over this day for months. I went into it thinking that I was fairly prepared. I was able to run/walk two other 5Ks this week (not official ones, just me at the park), and I started at completing it in 5o minutes, the next time I shaved off some time, completing it in 47.5 minutes. My goal for today was three-fold...(1) To finish with dignity, (2) to finish in 45 minutes, and (3) to not slow my friends down. I was able to finish with dignity, but I'm afraid I did slow my friend down a bit. However, she was a great encourager, and with her encouragement I was able to finish the race in 42.5 minutes....2.5 minutes faster than my goal! Yay!!! It's been a long journey to get here, and I have an even longer one ahead of me as I continue to run and try to get in shape, and to become healthier and thinner. It's going to be a long road, and I will not give up. My race is over, but my journey is just past the starting line. I am finally starting to see some tiny results, and while it's not happening as fast as I would like for it to, I am determined not to give up until I get to where I want to be.

In conjunction with this I have started reading Beth Moore's new book So Long Insecurity. I am about a third of the way into it, and it is rocking my world...which is just what I need! I am going to blog more about that later, but if you haven't gotten the book, I HIGHLY recommend it...go get it today!! Okay, here is a before and after pic of my 5K team:






Glenn's 30th birthday part 1

This weekend Glenn's parents came to town to help him celebrate his birthday. Glenn's actual birthday is this Thursday, March 18th. He will be the big 3-0! I can't believe we are almost in our 30s...Glenn much sooner than me...but still, I'll be joining him in a year and 2 months. Crazy, cause most days we still feel like we are 18!

Anyway, Saturday night we went to dinner at Bugaboo Creek Steakhouse...let me just say....YUUUUMMMMYYY! It was super good food, and a fun atmosphere. It was like having dinner inside a very fun hunting lodge, complete with talking buffalo head. Apparently the moose is their mascot of sorts, and right in front of the restaurant, they had a giant moose made of wood. Now, I have a love for mooses (I know that's not the correct plural, it's just more fun), so we had to take a picture by that cute guy.

On our way to the restaurant we saw the most vivid, huge rainbow I have ever, ever seen. It was incredible. The picture doesn't do it justice...it was so beautiful! I like to think of if it as a little sign that the best things are yet to come, and that our 30s will be even better than our 20s. I know...it's just a rainbow, but let me have my moment! :) Here are some pics for your viewing pleasure:







Zoo date

Last Saturday, Glenn and I went to the Atlanta Zoo. It was Educator Appreciation Day, so I got in free and we got a discount on Glenn's ticket....yay for super cheap trip to the zoo! We haven't been to the zoo together since we were first dating, in fact, the zoo is where Glenn first referred to me as his girlfriend. It was sweet. :)

So anyway, we just took our time wandering through and looking at everything we wanted to see. We spent a long time in the reptile house because Glenn wanted to see them feed the viper....I was not so thrilled, and I could have lived my whole life without seeing that...but he enjoyed it. The zoo was super crowded, but we were still able to see everything we wanted to see and only had to wait a minute or two for people to move along. It was a really fun day, and I'm glad we had the opportunity to go and spend the whole day just being big kids. After the zoo we went to have ice cream, which is always fun! :) Here are some picture for your viewing pleasure!






Monday, January 25, 2010

about to turn a corner

1 more day of week 3 and then on to week 4...apparently I'll be running 3 miles consistently in just 6 weeks...I'm feeling more confident that this will be attainable. Every day gets easier, and every day I get more and more excited about the actual running part of the run/walk.

Saturday I woke up with a terrible cold, and I have felt bad all weekend. The old Angela would have just said, "you don't feel good, take some time off, you deserve it." But, the new me decided to forge ahead and get my workout in anyway. It was definitely tough, and I could tell that I was more rundown than normal. But now that I've done it, I feel great! Okay, I don't actually physically feel great....but you know what I mean! :)

This is the time in a workout where the old Angela would start to get discouraged and give up...but not this Angela. My pants have started to become snug around the legs, and I have no idea where my weight is...I'm not looking for at least another week. BUT I know that this is normal. I know that my legs will get bigger before they get smaller. I know that I will probably gain weight before I lose weight. So, instead of being discouraged by my tighter jeans....I'm choosing to be encouraged, and excited, because that only means this is working! I WILL stick with this...I'm going on 3 weeks straight, and I have to say I think that is the longest I've stuck with any sort of workout routine. So, in short, I'm proud of myself, and super excited to see how far I can go with this, and what the outcome will be. If nothing else I will prove to myself that I can do it!

Thanks for joining me on this journey....

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

update

Just wanted to post a quick update on my journey. First I want to thank my sweet friends and little brother for your encouragement. It keeps me going more than you know!

Okay, I completed day 2 of week 2 today, and it was easier than day 1 of week 2. This week I am running for 90 sec. and walking for 2 min., and so on for 20 minutes, after a 5 minute warm up walk. I have one more day of this week and next week I will up it to running for 90 sec., walking for 90 sec., running for 3 min., walking for 3 min. and then repeat. So far I am sticking with it, and it's actually becoming fun, because I can feel it getting easier, and I am seeing results already. I have lost 4 pounds since my last post! Yay! While my clothes aren't really any looser, the scale shows the loss, and I know my body will be close behind. My sweet little brother told me last night not to get discouraged, and to keep going, and the results will come soon, and they will be worth it. I am taking his sage, 16-year old advice. :) I'm going to keep on keeping on!!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Confessions of a Wannabe

Since this is a new year, a new decade, and a fresh beginning, I have been thinking about the things I want to be...so bear with me, there are a few, and this may get more introspective than you are ready for! (this starts off a little pathetic acutally...but I promise it's going somewhere!)

I have always been the chubby girl. I have always been the biggest girl in the group. This has not been easy, and I am constantly thinking about it. I LOVE my amazing, beautiful friends, but it's not always easy having amazing, beautiful friends when you feel less than amazing and definitely too fat to be beautiful....only pretty cute at most. These are harsh realities, and while they are not healthy thoughts, they are honest. Some of you might be asking yourselves, well, if you are so unhappy about it then why don't you just lose the weight. Good question. The truth is, I've tried, and failed more times than I can even begin to count. I always start off fairly gung-ho, and give up shortly after starting for 2 main reasons....(1) Working out only makes me realize how truly out of shape I am, it is not fun at.all, because it is so hard, and (2) I so desperately want to lose the weight that I get very discouraged with less than immediate results.

This leads me to the first 2 things I want to be: (1) Disciplined and (2) Thin and healthy

I have made the decision to start this program called Couch to 5K. The basic premise of the program is that it enables you to go from being a couch potato to being able to successfully run a 5K (3 miles) in 9 weeks. It takes baby steps each week, gradually increasing the time you run, and decreasing the time you walk. It's 20-30 minutes each work-out, 3 times a week. This is doable, and honestly less overwhelming than trying to squeeze in intense workouts at a gym where everyone around me is fabulously perfect, and I leave feeling worse than I did when I went in. It's just me, my new running shoes, and my neighborhood, and this certainly ups the comfort level for me. So, as a way to help motivate myself to actually follow-thru this time, I am signing up for a 5K with some friends....in 10 weeks! This will give me just enough time to complete the program....no.time.to.slack.off! It also gives me the motivation to not be the chubby girl that slows down her friends....yet again....

My hope is to sort of chart my journey over the next couple of months. No, I will not be posting my weight (I wish I didn't know what it was, I certainly don't want others knowing this information!) I will say it's "holy crap, that's ridiculous"! Hopefully I can move it to "wow, that's still not good" down to "Eh, not too bad", and finally to "yay! That is pretty good!" But more than that, I want my clothes to fit better (being in smaller clothing would be awesome), I want to be healthier, and I don't want to be the chubby girl anymore.

Okay, on to the next thing I want to be: (3) Proud of who I am no matter how I look in the mirror.

In case you haven't noticed, my self-esteem could use some work. I attribute my lack of self-esteem to many things, mostly internal, but also due to some external factors. Such as, it feels like EVERYONE is thin....everywhere you look you are confronted with why it's beautiful to be thin, and if you are over a single digit size there is something wrong with you, and you are to either to be pitied, made fun of, or - even worse - be subjected to the single digit size people around you talk about how fat they are while you look at them and think (seriously...if you are fat, then what on earth am I?!) I am not saying this to offend anyone, and I realize that even thin girls don't always have the best self-esteem....it's just extremely unsettling to listen to thin people talk about how fat they are, because I think to myself, "if they think they are fat, what must they think of me?" However, I also realize that thin people don't want to listen to fat girls state the obvious, because it's uncomfortable....and let's be honest, no one likes to listen to people degrade themselves. So, I'm going to work on stopping. I'm going to work on realizing that God made me who I am, and while it is my fault that I have let myself get this overweight, I was obviously not meant to be a size 2.
I moved from feeling down on myself and determined to change my appearance, to still being determined to make changes while learning to love who I am, and accept that being beautiful has much more to do with who I am, than how I look, or the size of my pants. I stumbled across this blog today -http://operationbeautiful.com/ and I was sobbing as I read about this. A dear, sweet girl named Caitlyn has started Operation Beautiful. She is making an effort to stop all of the fat talk among women (no matter what their size), by posting random notes in public with simple messages like "You're Beautiful", or "The mirror does not define who you are" or "Wow! You look fabulous today!" I think I may join the bandwagon...so be looking for notes. I think it is a GREAT idea, and I encourage you all to do it! You never know how much this might mean to someone.

So, my last wannabe of this post: (4) I want to be beautiful

inside.....

If you are still reading this - bless you! Here's to a great 2010!

You are beautiful!

PS - I did not post this as a means to fish for compliments or to have people tell me I'm not fat....It was just some stuff that was on my mind, and I wanted to get it out. Thanks for indulging me. :)